Tuesday, March 15, 2005

THIS JUST IN...IMPORTANT NEWS

so we here at Bloggy McB reported you a story a couple months back regarding on of our columnists' extremely dangerous high cholesterol level. if you recall, his total cholesterol level was 298. according to the powers that be...a number above 200 is already high risk for all sorts of bad things that would take away from one's livelihood and be a very unpopular subject at family holiday dinners and at the racetrack. the level of LDL's (evil cholesterol) was at 207, where the magic number is 130 or less and the HDL's (somewhat amiable cholesterol) at 44. the HDL number is good b/c normal levels are above 40. triglycerides (fancy schmancy name for fat) was at 237 which is through the roof from the norm of 180.

changes were made, some drastic, others not so drastic. and after a nice little blood draw yesterday...the new numbers are as follows:

total cholesterol: 228 (HOLY FUCKING SHIT...MY CHOLESTEROL WENT DOWN!!!)
LDL: 144 (COME ON, THAT'S STILL REALLY, REALLY FUCKING GOOD)
HDL: 34 (OK, THAT'S NOT TOO BAD...JUST GOT TO HIT THE GYM EVEN MORE...EAT MORE FISH AND SHIT(no, not feces...shit as an expression))
triglycerides: 248 (WHAT THE FUCK!!! DOC THINKS IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY LIVER PRODUCING THE STUFF AND PART DIET...MAN, I HAVEN'T DRANK A BEER FOR 2 MOS, JUST SO I COULD GET THIS NUMBER DOWN!!!)

in summary, we are very pleased w/ the overall picture. i will be contacting the good folks at united healthcare to see if they will pay for a nutritionist, b/c i may need some outside guidance on this one. as for working out, i promised nancy a washboard stomach, so i will be going to the gym even more. and my doc is still going to ride me about the whole thing---she suggested i take something called CHOLEST-OFF (with a name this catchy and schnazy, it's got to work) i actually almost bought this stuff...i've been taking these garlic pills too, so maybe w/ their combined forces, they will be the Superfriends of my vascular system battling the evil Legion De Lipids (LDL--get it??), led by the evil general Cole L. Terrol (i can be just as witty and schnazy as those madison ave. types)

bloggy out.

1 comment:

Simone said...

congrats. altho the tri number is somewhat bothersome.

ever tried taking flax seed oil pills? david takes those. also how about eating good ol' Quaker oats in the morning? it is supposed to bring your numbers down like 20 pts in a mth.

oh and laying off the sliders may help too.

i'm very proud of you.