Blogging to you live from Rodeo Bar on 27th and 34rd, piggybacking off of someone elses signal rocks!!!! anyway, i'm not drinking much, saving m'self for the impromptu birthday bash that's going on for the purple monkey, herself Simmy Bo-Bimmy!! We're going to Hearth, see Sim's Blog for details...
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY SIMONE!!!
by the way she'll be 25 this year.
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i'm such a liar.
Now where were we??
59. i can't say this for sure, but i've been told that i'm extremely competitive. if i am, i bet i'm more than you are.
58. i tried to open a door to another existence once, i actually thought that the spells in the Necronomicon (available in paperback) were real.
57. i have never dated a filipino girl...i've had a crush on one...but never got around to asking her out. besides...i would never have met the SexyNancy and i'd be one sad sack.
56. most of the times i call in sick to work, i'm not sick...the old me felt that sick days were wasted on the sick...except now of course, i'm very responsible.
55. when i was temping while looking for a real PT job, i used to spend my lunchtime playing golf at a nearby executive 9 golf course...that's over 2 hours people. no one ever noticed.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
i don't know what you're ads say...[64. i spent my 19th birthday at Chuck E. Cheese...only b/c my friends said that they would take me wherever i wanted.] but they're dealing out army of darkness merchandise...and what was just on TV? why, army of darkness of course!! a movie that, like a fine wine, {63. when we used to play war when we were kids...9 out of 10 times, i was forced to be the ninja...i never got a gun...instead, i was put ahead of the pack to look for booby traps/mines...where i would get killed instantly--damn whitey} gets better w/ age. but don't take it from me...put it down on your weekend to do...nuke your poppycorn and ENJOY!! HAIL TO THE KING BABY!!!!
i admit it. i'm cranky today. (62. i didn't eat fish until maybe 3-4 years ago where i ate sushi at this restaurant...and only under the influence of alcohol...so good things can come from drinking...i'm gonna give some to my dogs) went to the gym, wasn't really in the mood...and the Sexy Nancy said that i'm not allowed to talk to the Synergy sales rep b/c apparently i was obnoxious to him the other day. ***61. i think i wiped out an entire population of rabbits in my neighborhood with my BBgun in one summer. ah, the good old days.*** i mean, he's a salesman...ergo, i must give the 'tude, b/c i'm not joining that P.O.S. gym anyway. no pool, no rockwall. women who look like men. yes, it's like that.
60. i pooped my pants in 2nd grade and wouldn't tell my teacher...i walked around with brownies in my trousers until i got home. when kids asked what that smell was...i said "i dunno???" to satisfy your curiousity...it was really squishy.
i admit it. i'm cranky today. (62. i didn't eat fish until maybe 3-4 years ago where i ate sushi at this restaurant...and only under the influence of alcohol...so good things can come from drinking...i'm gonna give some to my dogs) went to the gym, wasn't really in the mood...and the Sexy Nancy said that i'm not allowed to talk to the Synergy sales rep b/c apparently i was obnoxious to him the other day. ***61. i think i wiped out an entire population of rabbits in my neighborhood with my BBgun in one summer. ah, the good old days.*** i mean, he's a salesman...ergo, i must give the 'tude, b/c i'm not joining that P.O.S. gym anyway. no pool, no rockwall. women who look like men. yes, it's like that.
60. i pooped my pants in 2nd grade and wouldn't tell my teacher...i walked around with brownies in my trousers until i got home. when kids asked what that smell was...i said "i dunno???" to satisfy your curiousity...it was really squishy.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Love Marvin Gaye? Love Radiohead too? Well look no further...
Presenting...
Sexual High
best one since the Christina Aguilera/Strokes Mashup---A Stroke of Genius, which i can't find a link for sorry
How 'bout the Benny Hill theme song and 50 Cent's In Da Club (I can't believe i just spelled that)
here
Presenting...
Sexual High
best one since the Christina Aguilera/Strokes Mashup---A Stroke of Genius, which i can't find a link for sorry
How 'bout the Benny Hill theme song and 50 Cent's In Da Club (I can't believe i just spelled that)
here
You remember when you were a kid and you went to the video store...we're talking pre-Blockbuster...where you can get any movie that was on video and they had those saloon doors where they had all the porn, watching all those pervs pretending to walk in accidentally...i spit on your grave or the gates of hell or even the first Evil Dead...all those great laughs, giving you that warm feeling inside, knowing that the world is a better place...and that there are no evil demons or rapists coming to get you and eat your insides.
that's how i felt today after catching...
ALERT!!!!
Movie Review!!
That's right folks, i just saw The Devil's Rejects. and OH BOY!! does it take me back. where i felt that the violence was so real, it made me laugh b/c i was so uncomfortable with it. violence nowadays, so cartoony! leaves me numb and bored. i'm so glad that ole' robby zombie is able to channel all those funny little films from back in the day. the violence so gritty, so many uncomfortable scenes...my emotions ranged from a slight chuckle to a boisterous cackle!! good thing there were only like 5 other people in there. you know it's good when the Sexy Nancy has to cover her eyes thru 1/2 the movie b/c she couldn't take it anymore...she said that it disturbed her like no other movie...THAT'S A SEAL OF APPROVAL IF I EVER HEARD ONE!!! and you don't even have to suffer thru that first salty diarrhea of a film House of 1000 Corpses to enjoy this one!! what sets it apart from other crap nowadays is the gratuitous boobies and the unabashed use of fake blood for no apparent reason than to show how these psychos will kill anybody...just because they can. and then there is the policeman who is schizo b/c his bro died in the first movie and sticks his knife into people's privates and nails people to things...it's so great...classic stuff. i'll be buying this one on dvd for sure.
Let me give it 5 buckets of stale day old vomit out 6 buckets of chunky blood and entrails with an eyeball thrown in there and it's the juicy kind when you bite into it.
Now where was I????
69. I used to keep a baby rabbit fetus in a vial...it came from a fresh roadkill in front of my house.
68. There's an episode of Winnie the Pooh that gets me emotional whenever I see it....which is why i avoid it at all costs.
yes. i have it on video.
67. I had a near death experience, walking out into the street b/wn 2 cars and a van drove by...any second sooner and i'd be roadkill and someone would put me in a vial.
66. I stabbed a kid with a pencil on the bus once. the kid tried to touch my private place down there...i told him to stop and he wouldn't, so i stabbed him. yes. i think the cops came to my house for that one too.
65. My first kiss was from a girl in 3rd grade during spin the bottle...she was bigger than me. then again, i was a pygmy...so most humans were bigger than me.
that's how i felt today after catching...
ALERT!!!!
Movie Review!!
That's right folks, i just saw The Devil's Rejects. and OH BOY!! does it take me back. where i felt that the violence was so real, it made me laugh b/c i was so uncomfortable with it. violence nowadays, so cartoony! leaves me numb and bored. i'm so glad that ole' robby zombie is able to channel all those funny little films from back in the day. the violence so gritty, so many uncomfortable scenes...my emotions ranged from a slight chuckle to a boisterous cackle!! good thing there were only like 5 other people in there. you know it's good when the Sexy Nancy has to cover her eyes thru 1/2 the movie b/c she couldn't take it anymore...she said that it disturbed her like no other movie...THAT'S A SEAL OF APPROVAL IF I EVER HEARD ONE!!! and you don't even have to suffer thru that first salty diarrhea of a film House of 1000 Corpses to enjoy this one!! what sets it apart from other crap nowadays is the gratuitous boobies and the unabashed use of fake blood for no apparent reason than to show how these psychos will kill anybody...just because they can. and then there is the policeman who is schizo b/c his bro died in the first movie and sticks his knife into people's privates and nails people to things...it's so great...classic stuff. i'll be buying this one on dvd for sure.
Let me give it 5 buckets of stale day old vomit out 6 buckets of chunky blood and entrails with an eyeball thrown in there and it's the juicy kind when you bite into it.
Now where was I????
69. I used to keep a baby rabbit fetus in a vial...it came from a fresh roadkill in front of my house.
68. There's an episode of Winnie the Pooh that gets me emotional whenever I see it....which is why i avoid it at all costs.
yes. i have it on video.
67. I had a near death experience, walking out into the street b/wn 2 cars and a van drove by...any second sooner and i'd be roadkill and someone would put me in a vial.
66. I stabbed a kid with a pencil on the bus once. the kid tried to touch my private place down there...i told him to stop and he wouldn't, so i stabbed him. yes. i think the cops came to my house for that one too.
65. My first kiss was from a girl in 3rd grade during spin the bottle...she was bigger than me. then again, i was a pygmy...so most humans were bigger than me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
So i ran yesterday until i was going to throw up.
Another Alan Moore comic is heading for the big screen. The first book to hit was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was so bad, it angered me to the point where i kicked my dog very hard. ok, so i didn't kick the jubster...but it equates to my feelings. Now they've brought in Mr. "There's a billion of me in the Matrix" Smith and bald yet still attractive Natalie Portman for V for Vendetta. I won't give away the storyline...but it's a cool idea in a future "what if Britain lost in WWII and the Germans took over" type movie that we've seen over and over again. It was a good book, which means it will be a terrible movie...but still...who knows. The greatest sacrilege, of course, will be the big screen version of Alan's Watchmen. This was a movie that Terry Gilliam (the one man who could possibly pull it off, and maybe Pete Jackson) said could never be filmed, b/c of it's complexity. which means that this version will be so dumbed down, we'll be shitting ourselves and eating it.
The Next Batch:
74. I have a scar on my side where my mom stabbed me with a scissor once.
73. I have another scar on my boob where I was bitten by a child.
72. My friends and I (when we were kids) once tied a kid to a telephone pole and threw his bike into the woods.
71. Another friend and I (kids, again) used to sneak into the woods, where the dirtbags hung out...and shouted obscenities at them and throw rocks--they would chase us into the woods and we would duck into my friend's backyard and listen to their death threats. hee, hee.
70. I hate peanut butter.
Another Alan Moore comic is heading for the big screen. The first book to hit was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was so bad, it angered me to the point where i kicked my dog very hard. ok, so i didn't kick the jubster...but it equates to my feelings. Now they've brought in Mr. "There's a billion of me in the Matrix" Smith and bald yet still attractive Natalie Portman for V for Vendetta. I won't give away the storyline...but it's a cool idea in a future "what if Britain lost in WWII and the Germans took over" type movie that we've seen over and over again. It was a good book, which means it will be a terrible movie...but still...who knows. The greatest sacrilege, of course, will be the big screen version of Alan's Watchmen. This was a movie that Terry Gilliam (the one man who could possibly pull it off, and maybe Pete Jackson) said could never be filmed, b/c of it's complexity. which means that this version will be so dumbed down, we'll be shitting ourselves and eating it.
The Next Batch:
74. I have a scar on my side where my mom stabbed me with a scissor once.
73. I have another scar on my boob where I was bitten by a child.
72. My friends and I (when we were kids) once tied a kid to a telephone pole and threw his bike into the woods.
71. Another friend and I (kids, again) used to sneak into the woods, where the dirtbags hung out...and shouted obscenities at them and throw rocks--they would chase us into the woods and we would duck into my friend's backyard and listen to their death threats. hee, hee.
70. I hate peanut butter.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Do I have to work tomorrow?
I ventured to the Astoria Park pool today. after waiting on line for about an hour, we were able to partake in the aquatic festivities. word to the wise...if you choose to come here...go in the morning...they allow lap swimming weekdays from 7am to some other time..and general swimming at 11-ish...then they close down to drain out all the piss...and reopen at 3pm. we went at 3pm. so many brats...so, so many brats. and a lot of fat people. i was told that there was rotund woman trying to climb out of the pool...she asked her beau to pull her out, but b/c he wished his spine not to snap in two, he did not assist her. my mental image was of shamu jumping out of his pool to wave at the audience at sea world...this fat chick would only need to get a running or swimming start and then jump out and slide across to the snack bar...problem solved.
the running tonite was quite hard...don't know why...did 6 laps, cooled down then another 2 and i was waiting for the heart attack that never came. i want to get those custom adidas sneakers. they scan your feet and then assess your running style and then mold those sneakers to your specs.
so this week we attempt to choose a new gym! synergy v. NYU. who will win??
I ventured to the Astoria Park pool today. after waiting on line for about an hour, we were able to partake in the aquatic festivities. word to the wise...if you choose to come here...go in the morning...they allow lap swimming weekdays from 7am to some other time..and general swimming at 11-ish...then they close down to drain out all the piss...and reopen at 3pm. we went at 3pm. so many brats...so, so many brats. and a lot of fat people. i was told that there was rotund woman trying to climb out of the pool...she asked her beau to pull her out, but b/c he wished his spine not to snap in two, he did not assist her. my mental image was of shamu jumping out of his pool to wave at the audience at sea world...this fat chick would only need to get a running or swimming start and then jump out and slide across to the snack bar...problem solved.
the running tonite was quite hard...don't know why...did 6 laps, cooled down then another 2 and i was waiting for the heart attack that never came. i want to get those custom adidas sneakers. they scan your feet and then assess your running style and then mold those sneakers to your specs.
so this week we attempt to choose a new gym! synergy v. NYU. who will win??
