OK, i have no idea how this works...but apparently i've earned $2.24 this last week from ads. So tell me guys, are the ads annoying? what ads would make you want to click? NOT PORN!! you dirty people. but click! click away!!! no problem for strapping young folks like yourselves.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
So i don't want to disturb this...but jubei is watching the daily show, they did get a new set this week. and it was apparently to focus on an untapped demographic...dogs...no wait, he's licking his balls again...and now he's chomping his bone...it's over. just a freak event i guess. i wish i took a picture it was pretty funny.
the segment was really funny...it was about all that hubbub over leaked sales of the latest harry potter book, which first happened in canada...as told by daily show correspondent rob corddry, with this massive security breach--what is stopping this from happening in america...HARRY POTTER: COULD THIS HAPPEN HERE? he proceeded to enter the bookstore to find the truth--with hilarious results.
thank you winky for this awesome friggin' texas hold 'em handheld game that i can hook up to my tv...who needs the xbox?? oh yeah...and for dinner too. so full.
i held back my excitement long enough to have drinks with nan and her friends for this supposed matchmaking of a coworker and nan's friend's sister's friend...does that make any sense? well, i can't tell how it went...but apparently nan could tell something maybe brewing. she has a scary 8th sense...she's like CSI but for the E! channel...she's good w/ this gossip type stuff.
so i'm still making henry's card for his bday, i forgot how tedious it is to be creative--or attempt to be creative. want...to...sleep.
oh yeah...i still have to list my 100 list...but go see simone's blog and pretend it's me. I CAN DO IT!!
i have to rant about my student too don't i? crap...so much to do!! let me sleep will you!!
the segment was really funny...it was about all that hubbub over leaked sales of the latest harry potter book, which first happened in canada...as told by daily show correspondent rob corddry, with this massive security breach--what is stopping this from happening in america...HARRY POTTER: COULD THIS HAPPEN HERE? he proceeded to enter the bookstore to find the truth--with hilarious results.
thank you winky for this awesome friggin' texas hold 'em handheld game that i can hook up to my tv...who needs the xbox?? oh yeah...and for dinner too. so full.
i held back my excitement long enough to have drinks with nan and her friends for this supposed matchmaking of a coworker and nan's friend's sister's friend...does that make any sense? well, i can't tell how it went...but apparently nan could tell something maybe brewing. she has a scary 8th sense...she's like CSI but for the E! channel...she's good w/ this gossip type stuff.
so i'm still making henry's card for his bday, i forgot how tedious it is to be creative--or attempt to be creative. want...to...sleep.
oh yeah...i still have to list my 100 list...but go see simone's blog and pretend it's me. I CAN DO IT!!
i have to rant about my student too don't i? crap...so much to do!! let me sleep will you!!
Monday, July 11, 2005
am i bored? no, i'm cooking so i'll write you up a little review.
Movie Review
Dark Water
man, was i ever fooled. to think that commercials would purposefully mislead me into buying into a product that doesn't really deliver that it puports to sell. why would they do that? i feel ass raped...since this is a jennifer connelly movie that i'm alluding too...ass-to-ass raped (***to the uninitiated, please refer to Requiem For A Dream for details.)
You think that Dark Water is a horror movie in the vein of recent asian horror flicks gone yankee, like the ring, and the grudge. but what sets it apart from the other movies is lack of the word "The" in the title...i guess "The" Dark Water wouldn't fly as well. but what it has in common is kinda like the sludge of the said title seeping out from the ceiling--it's crap, and it's the kind that takes it time before you have to actually put your nose up to the ceiling,take a whiff and go "oh, yeah...it's crap".
I mean, the only way it's a horror movie is that it shows the horrors of buying inexpensive housing in NYC. though John C. Reilly is awesome as every sleazy fast talking real estate broker you ever had to deal with in the hell-on-earth that is the apartment finding dilemma. NYC has never looked worse and more unappealing than in this film and i'm sure real estate boom is going to hit its peak on roosevelt island after this gem suckers in others like me and the 12 people (including one of our Bellevue PT students---YOU ARE SO BUSTED, JACK!! SHOULDN'T YOU BE PHYSICAL THERAPIZING OR SOMETHING?)
who had the endurance to sit through this "Hometime"-gone bad fused with "America's Most Haunted Co-ops" suckfest
I'd go into details, but why? if you've ever seen a made-for-TV ghost story movie on USA Network or Sci-FI channel, then you've seen this movie...just add water. i would even venture to say those "cheesy but i have to watch" ghost story shows on Discovery or Travel Channel would be on par with this.
Wait for it to come out on basic cable as a UPN's The Parker's episode "the one where they have plumbing trouble", or if you have nothing better to do on a plane and it's being shown and you don't have to pay for headphones and the book you're reading's paragraph formatting is too wide and reads like a textbook (wink, wink to the DaVinci Code Illustrated vs. David)...then watch it.
On a scale of double ended dildos that J.Con simulated entering her poopshoot, i would rate this:
1/2 a dildo, one that was found in a quality inn in the bottom drawer wedged b/wn the phone book and the Gideon bible. Oh yeah...and no lube. dry.
Dark Water
man, was i ever fooled. to think that commercials would purposefully mislead me into buying into a product that doesn't really deliver that it puports to sell. why would they do that? i feel ass raped...since this is a jennifer connelly movie that i'm alluding too...ass-to-ass raped (***to the uninitiated, please refer to Requiem For A Dream for details.)
You think that Dark Water is a horror movie in the vein of recent asian horror flicks gone yankee, like the ring, and the grudge. but what sets it apart from the other movies is lack of the word "The" in the title...i guess "The" Dark Water wouldn't fly as well. but what it has in common is kinda like the sludge of the said title seeping out from the ceiling--it's crap, and it's the kind that takes it time before you have to actually put your nose up to the ceiling,take a whiff and go "oh, yeah...it's crap".
I mean, the only way it's a horror movie is that it shows the horrors of buying inexpensive housing in NYC. though John C. Reilly is awesome as every sleazy fast talking real estate broker you ever had to deal with in the hell-on-earth that is the apartment finding dilemma. NYC has never looked worse and more unappealing than in this film and i'm sure real estate boom is going to hit its peak on roosevelt island after this gem suckers in others like me and the 12 people (including one of our Bellevue PT students---YOU ARE SO BUSTED, JACK!! SHOULDN'T YOU BE PHYSICAL THERAPIZING OR SOMETHING?)
who had the endurance to sit through this "Hometime"-gone bad fused with "America's Most Haunted Co-ops" suckfest
I'd go into details, but why? if you've ever seen a made-for-TV ghost story movie on USA Network or Sci-FI channel, then you've seen this movie...just add water. i would even venture to say those "cheesy but i have to watch" ghost story shows on Discovery or Travel Channel would be on par with this.
Wait for it to come out on basic cable as a UPN's The Parker's episode "the one where they have plumbing trouble", or if you have nothing better to do on a plane and it's being shown and you don't have to pay for headphones and the book you're reading's paragraph formatting is too wide and reads like a textbook (wink, wink to the DaVinci Code Illustrated vs. David)...then watch it.
On a scale of double ended dildos that J.Con simulated entering her poopshoot, i would rate this:
1/2 a dildo, one that was found in a quality inn in the bottom drawer wedged b/wn the phone book and the Gideon bible. Oh yeah...and no lube. dry.
However, this Lola, is not a man.
Congrats to Donna and Jason with their new addition to the family!! That's Lola.
No stupid the baby on the left.
and please, no comments about Donna's nipples
in other news, former New York Knicks forward Latrell Sprewell has discovered a way to clone himself.
Mini-Spree
this is what happened to my friend ron's car...in life it was honda civic sport like vehicle. the before pic isn't the exact but it's close but more fast and furious than 2 fast 2 furious. picture ground effects and giant muffler that makes it impossible to have a conversation while being the car or within a 50 yard radius. it disappeared on may 26th right in front of their house!! they went to the extent of disabling their motion sensor lights from the house and he noticed right when he was ready to go to work. imagine your typical monday morning, you're tired and bored as shit, going through the routine and like a kick in the nuts by prostitute amputee with a mole on her eyeball who takes spare change...you're baby is gone!!! that is crazy!!!! they found it a week later before they found the hulking carcass that you see above, found in Hauppauge in a graveyard of other stripped cars. at least he didn't leave his ipod in there right? alright...bad joke.
but happy story...he's getting a decent return from his insurance and he's getting an acura...a less conspicious car, we hope.
ron, dude, sorry.
(insert your version of taps here)
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Last week for the 4th of July, I went with my friends to a place called Block Island. Block Island is an island that is off of the state of Rhode Island but is also close to Long Island, which is where I am from. The people that I went with are Simone, David, Mattchew, Sophia, Maria, Henry, Eric, Scott and Nancy, and a sexy little lady named Nancy, who is different from the other Nancy because the other Nancy eats only vegetables and my Nancy is sexy.
The house was a very nice place. It had six bedrooms and a very big living area where we played a lot of games. The backyard was very big and we played badmitten, crowkay, wifil ball and football. Nancy also bought me a nice kite. My kite can do tricks in the air like loopy loops and dives like a bird. It was very cold sometimes, Simone told me it was Nancy's (the sexy one) fault because she came on Twosday and not on Saturday like me. It was hot the first few days and hot on the last day. But we had fun all week even though the weather was skitzofrenic (that is a new word that Nancy (the sexy one) calls me).
I rode a horse one day. My horse's name was Keeyotee. He was a fat pig and always wanted to eat the grass on the rode and not walk when i wanted him too. Sexy Nancy said that I did not have any control like I did with the other horse in that other country Dominion's Republic. We rode on the beach but not for a long time. I think we got ripped off. But the horsey man said we could canter and gallop fast. I liked it a lot, but my secret places down there did not like it too much. Ice helps the secret places down there get better. There was a man who picked up the horseys poopy. He did not get a horse because he is from russia and also plays the piano in the movie barn where we saw the baddest movie that I have ever seen since that movie with brad pitt that showed his butt and fights a lot of people in Grease. That movie was War of the Worlds. It made me sad because it was so bad. I hope the space people would come and get Tom Crews and that scary little girl who talks like a grownup, but they talked real bad and they played pretend real bad. I was told to never wish this, but I wish they got killed in the movie.
We also rode bikes. We rode them around the whole island. There were a lot of hills. I hate Mattchew for letting us ride the high hills. We went to the highest point on the island. It was very pretty. Nancy (sexy, again) was very tired and did not like it because of the hills. I liked it because I am good at riding my bike, even though it was not my bike. There are beautiful parts of the island called the bluffs. The bluffs are there because the ocean wants to eat the island away. It must be very hungry.
I booger boarded too. The water was very cold and I was scared because Eric saw a big fish and I was told that they would eat my secret place down there because it looks like a worm and that is what fish like to eat. I did not want them to eat my worm. The booger board is like riding on the water like those whales who like to go to the beach to hang out but who don't know that they're too heavy and get stuck on the beach and can't get back unless people come to splash water on them and then carry them back into the ocean.
Nancy (the sexy one, OK!!) is very sneaky, we played Simpson's Clue and she found out in like 2 seconds that Homer did it with the slingshot in Krustylu Studios. I don't know how she did that. I think she is a witch. She also beat me dominos. We played Taboo and we found out that Mattchew is not good at it and tries to cheat asking what rhymes with "rorange" and "romputer". We played poker too. I did not win because I was not good. I owe Nancy (sexy) a lot of money. But I did buy her clothes that had Block Island written on them.
I want to go back to Block Island because it was a lot of fun and there is a lot to do and I was able to rest and not be at work. I would like to get a very big house that has horseys and will let my dog to come because I think that he would like it there very much. My dog likes the water and eat hot dogs and hamburgers and he told me that he would like to fly the kite and find the fish that eats the worms.
I have pictures that I took with my camera. I have to put them on to my "romputer" and then I will show them to you.
The End
that's right...time to make some dough for taking the time out to babble about nothing. so everytime you come please click on some of those pretty ads. apparently, they will change everytime i talk about something...the computer picks out certain buzzwords out of my entries and then advertises related topics accordingly. weird, right?
with my return from Block Island along with the trip to paradise that is the the Dominican Republicmy vacation for 2005 has offically ended (sniff, sniff, sigh, sigh). the BI pics will follow, but before that...i really didn't get to talk about DR did i? seems like a lifetime ago...as you can see from some of the pics, we had a super spectacularly dooper time...i mean, horseback riding...scuba...snorkeling...drinking...dancing...drinking...eating...drinking...eating...relaxing by the 6 pools they had at the resort...eating...drinking.
the bar crawl was particularly fun...which we did the last nite we were there...not only was there simulated sex on the bus, but we lost an irishman and a brit pooped herself along the way. we ended up in sosua bay main street and then hit cabarete beach and also hit a dominican car wash...check this out...the DCW is a place where you take your car to be washed right...but wait...i'm getting to the good part...there's a club inside where you get pissed drunk and you pick up chicks who you will eventually do the horizontal mambo with. that's the whole premise!!! nancy said that they are particulary shady places b/c married men will often go to pick up chicks and do said mambo, so she was glad that we didn't stay too long.
otherwise, we mostly did the relaxing and eating part...the whole idea of all-inclusive, is quite scary...i mean...it distorts your reality in some way...when i got back to the States...i walked in to DR (duane reade) picked out some beverages and almost walked out...oh yeah, money. this sux.
yeah so take in the pics...i'll add some more later. and i'll get the BI pics up...I BOUGHT A STUNT KITE!!...my newest toy. and many, so many dogs that i missed the jubster...who would have had an awesome time at the beaches w/ all the other dogs.
ummm...
nan, could you put the camera down please? that's a 50 foot wave behind us and that's a bunch of rocks in front of us.
Open Water 2
what you don't see is me shitting m'self...that's not a smile that's sheer terror.
and nan just waved goodbye...
and nan just waved goodbye...
Where's the sun you ask?
ok, so it rained a couple o' days while we were out there...but it didn't stop us!!! we went kayaking and discovered this island that was inhabited by naked ladies who revered me as their king and threw pickles at me.
as per nan...our stay on this island was less than a second
as per nan...our stay on this island was less than a second
