WTF is the matter with me?

I have found myself watching an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Call it the new diet, the lack of coca-cola, the timebomb that is my body, what have you, what has compelled me to sink to this lowly state. I mean, what is the protocol? Do I have to hand in my penis right away, or am I put on probation and put an a pure girl-on-girl porn program. I even checked out the TV Guide to see what else was on. Nuthin. Usually, I would think that C-Span would be more interesting. Thank god, Scrubs is on now.